Mark's Cosmic Goodies

I was born into an Army family, where moving from base to base became a way of life. I learned early how to adapt, make friends quickly, and then let go as we moved again. I discovered how resilience, connection, and the idea of “home” can shift beneath your feet. I also learned how a strong exterior can quietly hide inner unrest, like a mask we wear to hide our real self. I’ve known what it’s like to live with anxiety and fear. My father, though doing his best, found it difficult to express emotions, praise or encouragement, and I grew up seeking approval and validation from him, but mainly from others. That pattern followed me into adulthood, feeling not good enough, sabotaging my own success, and believing I wasn’t truly worthy of love, joy, or happiness. There were times I felt completely out of sync with life, disconnected from myself and others… and it was exhausting. But with the help of caring friends and mentors, I discovered that change was possible — that life could feel lig...

            What We Owe to Each Other,  and Ourselves:  This blog is a real look at goodness. Is It Doable? Being a good person is something I often reflect on—sometimes consciously, sometimes not. It shows up in how I think I treat others, how I handle tough situations, and how I care for myself. But let’s be honest. When I look around at the world, with all the personal struggles, societal conflicts, and global issues around race, wealth, religion, power, and the environment, I sometimes find it hard to see the good in some people or their behaviour. When I was little, I truly believed everyone was loving and that life was harmonious. That was the sweet, unfiltered view of an innocent six-year-old. These days, I see both sides of the coin. On one side, there are countless acts of love and kindness. People perform what seem like daily miracles: Doctors, paramedics, firefighters, nurses, and everyday folks saving lives, comforting the suffer...

  How Do You Want To Feel? “Goals are always an external target, core desired feelings are inside you.”  There’s a simple  truth in this quote from Danielle LaPorte’s book The Desire Map. Life is a constant act of choosing. Whether we realise it or not, every choice, every habit, every thought and belief is a direction we point ourselves toward. But if we don’t set a target, we end up drifting, hitting “nothing” by default. Why Most People Drift Through Life - We live in a world filled with endless distractions. Social media, other people’s opinions, news reports, and daily routines can easily pull us into living reactively. The Spice Girls were right to ask: “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?” What they were really asking is: What are your true desires? What floats your boat? Without a clear sense of our deep-seated desires, we wake up each day with no greater purpose than just “getting through it.” The result? We feel stuck, unfulfilled, and won...

Beliefs, Myths, or Old Wives’ Tales?   I was reflecting on the expression “Would you believe it?” and how often I’ve used it, sometimes with sarcasm and sometimes to express pleasant surprise. That phrase got me thinking about my own beliefs and where they come from. It is said that a belief is essentially an acceptance that something is true or real, often without requiring proof. It’s often said that our inner experience (or programming) follows a sequence like this: Belief → Thought → Feeling → Behaviour → Result My perspective is that thoughts and feelings are interchangeable. I can see how this chain of cause and effect has led to outcomes that have shaped my emotional well-being—and even my physical health. We all live by beliefs, but how often do we stop to question them? My friends Bil and Cher Holton talk about there being a “13th power”, which is the process of questioning unquestioned answers and this came to mind, when I realized I could apply this directly ...

WHAT SIDE ARE YOU ON? We live in increasingly turbulent times, where polarisation has become the norm rather than the exception. Society seems to demand that we pick a side—immediately, publicly, and unwaveringly. And once that side is chosen, assumptions are made about all our other beliefs. If I express agreement with a particular stance on Issue X, it’s often presumed that I automatically subscribe to an entire bundle of views on Issue Y, Z, and beyond, regardless of whether that’s true. This kind of binary thinking erodes the nuance that real life requires. I may support a politician's policy in one area and strongly disagree with their actions in another. That used to be accepted—even expected. Once, we could disagree with friends or colleagues and still talk, still respect each other, and still remain in the relationship. Disagreement didn’t mean disconnection. Today, however, the middle ground is vanishing. Grey areas are dismissed as weakness or indecision. You're eith...

Blog Post: People Pleasing – Shape-Shifting to Keep Others Comfortable I've lost count of how many times I've heard someone say, "Well, please yourself," or "Suit yourself." For me, those words still echo in my mind, often in the voice of my mum. They were her way of expressing disapproval when I didn’t take her advice. And while I know she meant well, the message I received was clear: If I went my own way, I was letting her down. I grew up in a military family. My dad was an Army Warrant Officer—a man of few words and guarded emotions. From an early age, I realised that the only way to earn his attention or any affection was to be "a good boy." That meant following the rules, staying agreeable, and suppressing any behaviour that might ruffle feathers. It felt like being a soldier, always marching in line. This strategy stayed with me well into adulthood. I chased his approval, hoping that if I behaved perfectly, I'd finally be loved or at leas...