How Do You Want To Feel?


“Goals are always an external target, core desired feelings are inside you.” There’s a simple truth in this quote from Danielle LaPorte’s book The Desire Map.

Life is a constant act of choosing. Whether we realise it or not, every choice, every habit, every thought and belief is a direction we point ourselves toward. But if we don’t set a target, we end up drifting, hitting “nothing” by default.

Why Most People Drift Through Life - We live in a world filled with endless distractions. Social media, other people’s opinions, news reports, and daily routines can easily pull us into living reactively. The Spice Girls were right to ask: “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?” What they were really asking is: What are your true desires? What floats your boat?

Without a clear sense of our deep-seated desires, we wake up each day with no greater purpose than just “getting through it.” The result? We feel stuck, unfulfilled, and wonder why life isn’t moving forward. We’re like a ship without an emotional rudder, steaming along but at the mercy of moods, reactions, and uncertain expectations.

 Clarity Creates Power - Setting a goal, even a small one, gives us direction. When you know what you’re aiming for, you start filtering out what doesn’t matter. Clarity is like focusing a camera lens—the blurry background falls away, and your target becomes sharp and compelling.

How to Find Your Target - Ask yourself big questions. Danielle LaPorte suggests choosing “core desired feelings” as a foundation for your external goals. What do I want to feel each day?

In a survey Danielle LaPorte conducted, most people who were asked to choose three core desired feelings found that happiness was almost always at the top. Deep down, most of us want to be happy — we’re wired for that quest.

Every successful person, whether an inventor, athlete, or artist, is motivated by passion, excitement, and positive anticipation — these are all emotions, not intellectual goals!

Write it down. Feelings stuck in your head are just wishes. Put them on paper to bring them into the real world. Start seeking opportunities to bring those feelings to life. You don’t need a 5-year plan. Just choose two or three meaningful feelings to aim for each day. Keep it light and make it fun — something that excites or challenges you.

Visualise hitting your daily feelings target. Athletes don’t step into a game without a clear picture of winning. Train your mind to see how your lifestyle would feel if you were already living those feelings now, today.

Final Thought - There’s a simple truth in Zig Ziglar’s famous quote: “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.” If you don’t define what you’re aiming for, life will define it for you — and you may not like where you end up. Ziglar’s words are both a warning and an invitation: choose your emotional targets intentionally.

How do you want to feel today, tomorrow, and from now on?

Comments

  1. Cher Holton30 July 2025 at 06:03

    Great reminder to clarify our goals. We like to call it creating your "Essence Intentions!" Then make sure very action -- every choice -- supports and reinforces those intentions! Thanks for the interesting article, Mark!

    ReplyDelete

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